Update

Farad from Staples me a call.
Apparently, there's some sort of problem with my embosser order; they need some additional information. I can't imagine why they don't have it. I mean, I wrote it out for them with a blue highlighter on a blue piece of scrap paper and handed it directly to a salesclerk who assured me she would put it on the top of her "stack of stuff" and handle it personally.