Say Cheese!

I miss the sarcastic, focused, idealism of home, a place where words are cheap and the only thing that matters is action.

I miss the way I used to be able to conduct business transactions with people through windows without them so much as glancing in my direction, let alone speaking directly to me. I didn't know them, they didn't know me and neither of us pretended to care otherwise.

In the small, mid-western hell I inhabit these days, I am grilled on my health, family, and feelings about the weather in exchange for the release of my burger and fries.

I liked living in a city where how I am doing today was nobody else's business and "fine" was considered a dissertation-length response, where to make eye-contact was akin to threatening your children and would be met with the same fierce reaction.

I miss the days where I didn't even notice the existence of birds outside my window, let alone which birds were there and what their dietary preferences were.

Mostly, I miss being in a place where I was free to express my feelings in the way I spent my time, money and energy. Where the people I loved knew they were my priority because the precious commodity of "free time" was dedicated to them. I never had to say "I miss you" because I could stop by. I never had to say "I'm thinking about you" because if they needed me I was there. And I never had to say "I love you" because it was obvious.

So, although the words are cheap and hollow sounding, even to me...they are all I have:
I miss you.
I'm thinking of you.
I love you.